


Clam

by etacanis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Next-Gen, Romance, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2011-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-15 07:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etacanis/pseuds/etacanis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He'd managed to cook the clams, like the book said. He'd even managed to get half of them out of their bloody shells, like the book said. But then it had gotten to the vegetable part, and he'd ended up with chilli in his eyes which were already streaming because of the onions and he'd cut his finger too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clam

"What's that?" Scorpius stared at Teddy with the famed Malfoy Judgemental Expression. One eyebrow raised, not so high as to give you wrinkles, but high enough. Lips together, teeth apart. Teddy was holding a book, open to a page that featured a very boring Muggle photo of what appeared to be food and multiple lists.

"It's a recipe book, Scorpius," Teddy said, pointing at the picture of food. "Surely you've seen one before." Scorpius huffed, trying to resist the urge to point out that _no_ , his parents still had house elves. "Look, it's really simple, okay? You just follow the instructions. It's not hard."

"I know how to use one!" Scorpius swiped the book from Teddy's hands and stared down at the book. "I just don't know why you're giving me one!"

"It's _Valentine's Day_ , Scorpius." Teddy was talking slowly, like he was addressing a child who was having difficulty with the concept of putting on trousers before going out in public, or something. "I thought we could do something nice for James."

"So why are you giving _me_ the recipe book?" Scorpius recognized the expression on Teddy's face. It was the one his parents had given him many, many times. The same closed eyes, the same deep breathing so they didn't do something undignified, like screaming and throwing a vase at his head.

"Because I need _you_ to cook it." Scorpius' parents would not have been proud of him at that moment. His jaw dropped, the book clattered to the floor and he stared at Teddy. "You are such a drama queen." Teddy rolled his eyes before he leaned down slightly to kiss Scorpius, who finally remembered to shut his mouth. "Please? For James? If it makes you feel better, I'm going out to get your present too."

"It better be good," Scorpius muttered as he bent down to pick up the recipe book. Teddy smiled at him but, quite wisely, apparated out of the flat before Scorpius could change his mind, or something.

 

Scorpius looked down at the kitchen counter, his eyes focused on the book in his hands. The text at the top of the page let him know that he was supposed to be cooking Linguini and Clams in Parchment but...surely they didn't mean _actual_ parchment? Why would you cook something in _actual_ parchment? Scorpius was fairly sure that, if he was remembering Muggle Studies correctly, Muggles didn't even have actual parchment?

"Soak the clams in cold water for twenty minutes..." Scorpius traced his finger over the words and sighed. "Accio clams!" He waited. Nothing. Surely Teddy had actually _bought_ clams. He grumbled under his breath, cursing the bastard to Antarctica and back, as he crossed to the fridge. There, on the middle shelf, sat a bowl of clams in water, with one of Teddy's bloody post it notes stuck to the front. In his abominable handwriting were the words 'I'm not that cruel :)'. "What's next then?" Scorpius asked the fridge. He was only slightly disappointed when he didn't get an answer. "Put clams in a large saucepan with one cup of water." _Easy_.

Twenty minutes later, Scorpius was regretting thinking it was going to be easy. He'd managed to cook the clams, like the book said. He'd even managed to get half of them out of their bloody shells, like the book said. But then it had gotten to the vegetable part, and he'd ended up with chilli in his eyes which were already streaming because of the bastard onions and he'd cut his finger too and it was bleeding all over the place because for some reason, there was not a class on cooking like a wizard at bastard Hogwarts.

"Noddy!" Scorpius snapped, wrapping his finger in a t-shirt he'd found under the kitchen table. Seconds later, one of the Manor's house elves appeared before him, as eager to please as ever. "Can you make this?" He held out the book to the house elf who peered at it for a few minutes.

"Yes, master! It's simples!" Scorpius nodded. Of course a sodding house elf thought it was simple. "Is Noddy making dessert too?" He thought for a few moments before he nodded. He might as well go the whole nine yards if he was going to cheat.

 

He lingered in the kitchen, just in case anyone came back. It'd be a bit tough to explain why a house elf was cooking while he laid about on the sofa. At least if someone decided to apparate in, he could just explain he was in a bit of a tizz and Noddy _kindly_ offered to help so Scorpius could calm down. Or something.

The dessert Noddy had made looked delicious, Scorpius had to say. He'd even made the little honey-creamy things heart shaped. The linguini whatsit _smelled_ delicious and apparently, parchment didn't mean _actual_ parchment, but some weird Muggle paper type thing Noddy had managed to find in one of the drawers.

"Noddy is finished, Master Scorpius!" Noddy turned around. He was grinning happily, his huge ears waggling. "Master Scorpius just needs to be serving it!" Scorpius nodded, leaning round the house elf to peer into the oven where the parchment things were cooking.

"Will they burn if I leave them in there for a bit longer?" Noddy shook his head. "Right, well, off you pop before I get caught." With that, the house elf disappeared again, leaving no sign of his help behind.

 

"Bloody hell," Teddy crowed as he stepped into the dining room. The table was set and laid, with three plates of Clam Linguini ready and keeping warm. "You actually did it."

"Of course," Scorpius scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He smiled when James wrapped an arm around his waist, leaning against him for a moment.

"It looks great, Scor," James murmured in his ear. "And you're going to like what Teddy got you." He knew what the nip at his ear lobe meant as James moved away. He was _really_ going to like his gift.

"Well come on, let's tuck in," Teddy said, practically throwing himself into his chair. James followed suit. Scorpius was almost surprised when they picked up their cutlery and didn't just eat straight off the plate. _Gryffindors_. Only they could be quite so unrefined.

"Make sure you leave room for dessert." He tried not to smirk as he picked up his own cutlery. He twirled the pasta round his fork, resisting the urge to glare as James slurped at his. Some days, he really did wonder how he ended up here.

"There's _dessert_?" Teddy raised an eyebrow at him. Not as well as he did, of course. His brow would never wrinkle like that.

"Of course. A little honey and cream concoction I whipped up." Silence. "Don't gape, Ted, it's impolite."

 

When Teddy slipped to the bathroom between the main course and dessert, James leaned over the table. He almost knocked his glass of wine over too, of course.

"Thank you," He murmured, tracing a finger up Scorpius' wrist as he settled the glass of wine. "Even if you did call one of your parents house elves to help out. You'll have to be punished for that, you know."

"I did no such thing." James just smirked at him, giving him a look that said _everything_. "No telling Teddy, Potter."

"No, of course not," James said as he leaned back and ran his hands through his hair. "You wouldn't enjoy his punishment half as much."


End file.
